Without Jenny by Mark Gunther

Author:Mark Gunther
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781633935440
Publisher: Koehler Books
Published: 2015-01-16T16:00:00+00:00

18.

“I WANT TO clean out her room,” Joy announced. She could not get Susie’s mom’s continuing devastation out of her mind.

“When?” Danny asked.

“On the weekend. You have to help me.”

“Of course. What about Jake? He’ll want to help too.”

“Doesn’t sound like a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“He could get upset. Or maybe he won’t want to get rid of anything.”

“We can’t protect him, Joy. It’s his life, too. I’m going to ask him. Besides, he’s her heir.”

That stopped her. Danny was right. It was embarrassing that she couldn’t think of Jake as having any agency in this change. When Joy was a little girl, her mom always was reorganizing Joy’s drawers or her closet and usually took out clothes that she thought Joy shouldn’t be wearing anymore, which had upset Joy once she got old enough to push back. This was kind of like the same thing. Probably she should be worried about that in her relationship with him. What do you think, Jenny? she wanted to ask, but the Other World was getting farther and farther away.

When she went to tuck him in Jake was reading Goodnight, Moon. He finished that one and asked her which one she wanted him to read to her. She picked Sophie and Lou, which was romantic and didn’t have any children in it. When he finished, she roused herself.

“Time to sleep now, Jake.” It was a lot easier without the singing.

“Mommy, what’s going to happen with Jenny’s things?”

“We’ll look at everything. Some things we’ll give away, some we’ll keep, some we’ll save. I don’t know, exactly.”

“I haven’t been in her room in a long time. It’s weird.”

Joy had never seen him go into Jenny’s room after she died. If he wanted something, he would ask Joy to get it.

“It’s good to change it now,” Joy said. For me, too. She’d played all the games and read all the books and had completely run out of conversation topics relevant to Jenny’s dolls.

“I want to help you, Mommy. I want to show Teddy Jenny’s things,” Jake explained, “because if he wants to keep something I want him to have it.”

Joy got worried she’d have to fight with Teddy over everything, but maybe what she really was afraid of was Jake handling it well—or seeing her handle it poorly.

“Maybe a few things, honey.”

“I’m still sad, Mommy.”

“Me too, Jacob, me too. But it’s better to remember than to forget, don’t you think so?”

Jake tucked Teddy into bed before letting Joy do it to him.

“Mommy, will Jenny know what we’re doing? Will she be mad at us?”

“When she was alive we gave away clothes and stuff she didn’t wear or use anymore, so she’s used to that. We won’t throw away anything that you want to keep.”

“I just don’t want her to be mad. Can we put more things downstairs?”

“We’ll see,” she said. She leaned over to kiss him. Jake rolled over and pulled the covers up. Joy kissed the top of his head.

What a brave boy.

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